Suzanne Olsen's Humor Blog - I don't offend some of the people most of the time

Happy to Be Average

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about being average. I’ve pondered if it’s just being unmotivated, or not really wanting to work hard.

Nah, I don’t think so. 

It’s all relative, for one thing. Not all NBA basketball players are Steph Curry. Does he work harder? How should I know?  My point is that all the other NBA players work hard and are highly motivated, and are really, really good, but there’s only a star or two on each team, all the rest are basically an “average” bunch of very good players. 

Does hard work guarantee that you’ll be extraordinary? Nope. Hard work to me is getting up at the crack of dawn and digging ditches. It also means getting a medical degree, but even that doesn’t make you any better than every other doctor. There are only a few famous stand-outs like Dr. Oz. Isn’t he a wizard? (Okay that’s a bad pun and truly a stretch for a laugh but I’m writing about a serious subject and it is HARD WORK to find something funny about it.)

Face it, most of us are average. We may have an occupation that society holds in higher esteem, like doctors, but there are thousands of doctors, and only a few Jonas Salk’s (invented the polio vaccine). Are the famous ones any better than the one I go to who thumps my knee with a little pointed hammer and my leg springs up like a catapult and I nearly kick him in the… I’ve got amazing reflexes.  

Doctors save lives, but so do fire fighters, construction crews who build safe buildings, suicide prevention operators, and garbage collectors (“I’ll just die if I have to smell those stinky fish bones another day!”).

Basically, almost everyone works hard at some job so they can survive – some just survive with a lot more money than others. Your homeless, who don’t work at all for one reason or another, barely get by. Your Oprah Winfrees survive in eighty million dollar mansions. There are millions of millionaires (maybe not, but I liked the way that sounds). With so many, can’t we say they are simply average millionaires?

We often define someone as great because they are in the eye of the public and famous, or they are in a profession that rewards them with a boatload of money. The rest of us are doing our average part, frequently in extraordinary ways, except for some people who truly are lazy slackers who porif (short for Porifera – the scientific name for sponges) off of those around them, but that’s a different rant I’ll get to one of these days.

I went to the movie “Rocketman” last night, and Elton John is definitely not average. His gifts for piano, singing, composing, entertaining – absolutely extraordinary! But man, what an awful life – selfish mother, cold father, beastly manager/lover, surrounded by admirers but deeply lonely. He was rich, famous, and miserable to the point of suicide.

In my youth I wanted to be famous, to be a singer, but I was too scared so gave up the fantasy. Now I know it would have been a disaster. Had I become a star – highly unlikely and dang near impossible, but just supposin’ – I would have done all the immature things that the famous young talented people do and probably worse. It’s a dream I don’t have any regrets about; it’s a blessing it didn’t happen.

Here’s to all of us average people. We survive and thrive and that ain’t no jive. I’m so happy I finally figured that out.


My Guardian Angels


Father’s Day 2019


  1. Gloria Walker

    I was trying to write a password, and computer replied that it was too easy. I really don’t care how easy it is — It’s not that secretive .

    • Suzanne Olsen

      Darn dumb computers – you shouldn’t have to put in a password to comment. I appreciate you letting me know – and that you’re reading and commenting!

  2. Gloria Walker

    This is gonna be great fun… and I’ll look for more — and even add some thoughts: probably reactions to yours and others.

  3. John Patterson

    I like it. Myself, I had a realization recently that I am better than no one on this earth. Well, you say, what about the down and out, the homeless? I say, if I was dealt the hand they were I could very well be in the same place. Well, you say, what about the criminals. No, I’m not better than they. I’ve committed all sorts of crimes, mostly little ones, and gotten away with it. Well, you say, what about the lazy? I can be lazy. Seriously, it just hit me clear as a bell, I can’t look down at anyone. Not a single one.

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