I have a Mac, which means I have the “spinning wheel of death” when Mac wants me to wait for it to do its thang. People with PC’s get an hour glass, but Macs have this little color wheel that rotates, letting you know that the Mac is thinking and you’d better not mess with it if you know what’s good for you.

I learned this the hard way – the same way I learn everything on the computer. I typed out something complex in a table and then got frustrated because the table wouldn’t size the way I wanted it to. So I tugged it with my cursor on one side and then the other. But I went too fast, and the confounded spinning wheel came up. I tried to save the document but the program was frozen like a tongue stuck to an icy flagpole. It wouldn’t budge, wouldn’t respond. Then it crashed, and my document disappeared forever.

When something won’t work on the computer, I start clicking and trying something else. When my aggravation escalates, I click even harder. The Mac does not like this. Not one bit. It sends the spinning wheel out to sit right in the middle of what I’m doing, taking its own sweet time to go away.

If I so much as twitch a finger on my mouse, that wheel says, “I TOLD you to BACK OFF, and you wouldn’t listen – you never listen, and I’ve warned you over and over and over again. How does someone get through a dumb thick brain like yours? When you see me, you better behave because if you so much as LOOK at me the wrong way, I’m going to send everything you got right out to space where you’ll never, ever, ever see it again. Understand?”

That wheel is a bee-otch. Sometimes my computer starts running slow. Maybe it got a little too wild with my PC and it’s got a hangover. Who knows what goes on in my office after I go to bed? There’s a radio on the other side of the PC, it might be playing techno-funk that the PC and Mac can’t resist – they dance and party all through the night – their mice snuggling in the dark shadows. Who knows why these computers run slow for no reason.

When it happens, out pops that spinning wheel, like a rat coming up the toilet bowl. This actually happened once to someone I knew. They heard some splashing in the toilet and opened the lid. There was a rat, sometimes referred to as a “sewer rat,” thrashing around in the toilet water. I don’t know what they did with it – in this situation, what could you do? Flush the toilet screeching, “Go back where you came from, you smarmy vermin?” Would you succumb to your child’s pleas of “Can we keep it mommy, pleeeee-ease? We’ll take really good care of it, honest we will. Can we, can we, can we?”

That’s the point; you don’t know WHAT to do with that spinning wheel any more than you’d know what to do with that unwelcome varmint in your toilet.

I love my Mac, and it’s fast and easy and fun to operate, but I hate that wheel. Always will.