When the kids aren’t around, which is most of the time, my husband and I watch TV while we eat dinner. We used to watch Seinfeld, but for some reason the networks, in their quest to drive me crazy, put another show in that time slot that I’m not nuts about, so we have nothing to watch.

He spins through the channels and finds a show he likes, but I don’t. Sometimes we’ll watch it, but then I have to eat fast. Other times we’ll watch reruns of America’s Funniest Videos, which I love but he doesn’t. He thinks it’s all stupid and looks set up, but he sits there and laughs the whole time anyway.

When it comes to humor, I like the lowest forms. Some doofus slipping on a banana peel makes me laugh. One of the funniest scenes in a movie I ever saw was the first Home Alone when the kid sets up all those boobie traps and the bad guys fall for them. These were so creative I’m laughing at them right now. One thing happens to the bad guys after another. One falls down stairs on ice and then grabs a door handle that’s been heated so it burns a door-handle shaped  brand on the palm of his hand. His partner tries to sneak in the basement door, but the steps are covered in tar so he ends up walking out of his shoes and has to step really hard to get his feet out of the tar each step, and he’s barefoot, but he’s determined to get up the rest of the stairs. The camera zooms in on a nail sticking up one of the stairs, then zooms to his tender, bare foot heading straight for it, and he’s bearing down hard and deliberately with his feet and the camera zooms in at the time of impact, and he lets out a high pitched, girly scream that has to be the best one ever made in a movie. I love it every time I hear it, which is pretty often. Both guys step barefoot on broken Christmas ornaments and tacks; and one, or maybe both, get clobbered right between the eyes with a bucket of paint swinging from a long rope. Now that’s just funny.

Some of those America’s Funniest videos don’t live up to the name, though. I’m not so sure what entertainment value there is watching an eight year old kid with a loogie hanging out of his nose that’s six inches long and growing. All of the snot videos should be culled as far as I’m concerned.

But I love the hungover brides, the crashing snowsleds, the fat women falling off docks, geese chasing screaming women, jackasses chasing screaming men, and babies giggling, over and over, for no reason.

I used to love the Three Stooges because of slapstick. Moe smacking everyone on the head, then hitting them in the stomach – that was funny, but my favorite was when he’d take his two fingers and jab somebody in the eyes. Except that Larry got wise to him and started putting a hand up so Moe’s finger’s wouldn’t reach. He’d say, “nya, nya, nya,” which got Moe pretty riled up. There was a take on this in the movie Something About Mary when Ben Stiller is fighting with Mary’s little dog, and he’s wrestling with it around the room, and the dog’s biting him wherever he can sink his teeth, and finally Ben Still rares his arm back and you see those two fingers going at the dog’s eyes, which made me about wet my pants, and then the dog puts his paw up to block the jab. That’s exceptionally funny.

Well, I have to say I’ve made myself laugh typing this, so that does it for me.