I just finished trashing Republicans, which was pretty easy, but for this to be bi-partisan, so as not to alienate half the country, I am obliged to also take a poke at Democrats. That’s pretty easy too.

Democrats believe that everyone deserves help – even the lowlifes who get pregnant to increase their welfare stipend. Actually, I’m not sure if that goes on anymore – surely even the most fertile dimwit knows that a child costs more in the long run than you’ll ever get from the government. But just in case there are people still doing this for a living, the Democrats should at least ask for a return on their handout.

Once you start giving people money for nothing, how many are going to want to go back to plucking chickens? I say give these able-bodied people money, but only in exchange for useful work. Make the welfare moms work in day cares. This would give them a belly full of children, in a productive sense. Make them work in grocery stores so they can see how obnoxious the people getting food stamps can be. Let them deal with those hearty eating, loud mouthed mothers in checkout lines with their carts full of cigarettes and assorted fried potato products, arrogant and entitled, chips on their shoulders – trying to sneak stuff by and arguing indignantly when they get caught.

These are the people the Democrats insist we American taxpayers ought to pony up and help. We taxpayers don’t mind helping those people who are temporarily down on their luck by circumstances beyond their control. We are sympathetic to the man trying to support his family after he’s had a job yanked out from under him, but we’re sick of those who milk us because they’re lazy and no account. They’re almost as bad as rich Republicans who milk us because they’ve figured out how to avoid paying even a penny in taxes.

Democrats want better health care for everyone. If you want healthy people, make them get off their couches and walk somewhere besides the refrigerator. Make food stamp people weigh in, or prove they’re buying vegetables for their children instead of marshmallow pies. Give them books on healthy living and test them once a week before they get our tax dollars. Force them to be healthy in exchange for their money so they won’t need doctors to treat the diet and inactivity related ailments that plague them and their innocent offspring.

Democrats want to help everyone without any accountability, so that people feel entitled, and Republicans want to help themselves get richer so that people feel entitled. In both cases, the general public becomes bitter.

Doesn’t anyone see this but me?