Every day people talk about the sleep they either got or didn’t get. “I couldn’t sleep at all last night.” “I tossed and turned.” “I had such bad dreams.” “I slept like a baby.“ “I had this great dream about …”

I remember having dreams about actors and they seemed so real. I’d meet Brad Pitt at a party and he’d find me fascinating. We’d end up going on a walk, holding hands, talking about our future together, maybe even kissing an electrifying kiss, and then I’d wake up to the dog licking my face. Such a rude awakening.

People who don’t get enough sleep are cranky, but so are the ones who get too much. Waking up before you’re supposed to is the worst. You have to decide if you’re going to go back to sleep or get up and start your day. In my experience, going back to sleep means I’ll have really weird dreams. They’re always bad – being chased by cannibals while my legs turn to rubber. Or trapped in an elevator and it starts free-falling. Those dreams seem so real. When I wake up, I look around to see if a cannibal is gnawing my foot, but it’s just the dog again. Get’s it’s her breakfast time.

I’ve noticed when I sleep about six hours I don’t really seem to dream that much, or else I’m forgetting them. I have always forgotten things. I forget the list where I wrote everything down I needed to remember. I’ve always forgotten where I put my keys, purse, the book I’m reading, the electric bill that’s overdue, my cell phone. How many times have I had to call my cell phone to locate it?

As people get older the world blames memory loss on age, but I think that’s unfair, and it doesn’t explain why my kids run around bellowing, “Mo-om, where are my shoes?” The answer I always give them is, “When I wear your shoes I always put them in the shoe closet.” They look there, as if I’d actually been wearing their shoes. Of course that’s the last place they’d put their own shoes… “Mo-om, they’re not in there – where else did you put them?”

Kids lose backpacks and homework, they leave their lunches at home, and forget the permission slips you place right beside their backpacks. But no one whispers, “Alzheimer’s” when they do it.

They also change the subject every second of the day, which is exactly what I have done here. Hey! Stop whispering, “ADD.”

Back to my dreams. I’ve had some really good ones and tried my best to stay asleep until the happy ending (wink wink). If I wake up, I can’t go back to sleep or even remember the dream. It’s very frustrating.

All this talk about dreaming makes me want to take a little siesta. Hey Brad, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Wait for me!